Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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