It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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