How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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