Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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