Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
