just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
