So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Randomize
