omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
