Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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