If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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