Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
