Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
