I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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