Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
