My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize