to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
