For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
