I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
