I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
