oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
