they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
