I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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