Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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