i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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