This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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