very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
