Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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