You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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