You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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