I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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