well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize