were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
