i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
