I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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