Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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