you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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