dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
