Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
