your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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