Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
