U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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