you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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