put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
