Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
