Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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