Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
