he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
