return my video game
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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