I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i dont even know how to be here
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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