her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
