just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
