Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
