Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
