Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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