we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
