maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
