My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
