I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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