I must be too annoying 4 u.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Quick, to the slutcave!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
