So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
