is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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