I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
