FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize