Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
