Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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