My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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