I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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