Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
