let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she pinky promised me she was 18
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize