I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
dude. I can hear the air.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
