a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
