Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
