I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
