Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
