I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
